I love the nuance you bring to this very alive picture of interdependence -- the ebb and flow, the context, the "dynamic balance of support and boundaries." The questions you're asking in your interdependent relationships -- with your partner, your mom, your brother -- are so full. And the question you ask yourself -- "just because I can do something independently, does that mean I should?" This feels rich and important. Thank you for articulating the complexity. I will be chewing on this💛
Thank you so much for your generous and thoughtful words. I really appreciate you engaging so deeply with the nuances in this piece. It means a lot to have someone reflect back the complexity I was trying to explore.
Candidly this was a hard one to write because the reality of interdependence is so messy, so context-dependent, and I’ll likely always be grappling with it. It’s hard to know when to step in and how to help in ways that truly support someone’s agency and autonomy, and equally hard to know when to choose help vs independence for ourselves, given both can come at a real cost, emotionally, energetically, financially.
Your comment is generous and encouraging, and I’m grateful for your feedback always. Thank you for chewing on this with me. 💛
Yes, so messy!! I think that messiness is why it feels both so hard AND so important to dig into. It’s much easier to simply point to interdependence as sturdier than this revered myth of independence, but how do we actually do it in practice and where does it get sticky and what if we don’t do it “perfectly” (whatever that might be). Everyone’s mess will be of a different sort, but just to have the picture of someone modeling that sorting felt really meaningful to me. I’m still thinking about it💛
I love the nuance you bring to this very alive picture of interdependence -- the ebb and flow, the context, the "dynamic balance of support and boundaries." The questions you're asking in your interdependent relationships -- with your partner, your mom, your brother -- are so full. And the question you ask yourself -- "just because I can do something independently, does that mean I should?" This feels rich and important. Thank you for articulating the complexity. I will be chewing on this💛
Thank you so much for your generous and thoughtful words. I really appreciate you engaging so deeply with the nuances in this piece. It means a lot to have someone reflect back the complexity I was trying to explore.
Candidly this was a hard one to write because the reality of interdependence is so messy, so context-dependent, and I’ll likely always be grappling with it. It’s hard to know when to step in and how to help in ways that truly support someone’s agency and autonomy, and equally hard to know when to choose help vs independence for ourselves, given both can come at a real cost, emotionally, energetically, financially.
Your comment is generous and encouraging, and I’m grateful for your feedback always. Thank you for chewing on this with me. 💛
Yes, so messy!! I think that messiness is why it feels both so hard AND so important to dig into. It’s much easier to simply point to interdependence as sturdier than this revered myth of independence, but how do we actually do it in practice and where does it get sticky and what if we don’t do it “perfectly” (whatever that might be). Everyone’s mess will be of a different sort, but just to have the picture of someone modeling that sorting felt really meaningful to me. I’m still thinking about it💛